Mario's Shi- uh Shotty Sidequest
by Puddintater
Summary: This story was originally tacked on to a previous story of mine. This is worse than that masterpiece and thus has been removed from it. This aint good :D
1. New Game

Yo. This story takes place 10 monthes after the stury Logos Wacky Wendsay birthday suprise

Mario has finnaly became the uber kawiie majikal gurl he has always wanted to be. Lugi and Daisy are married and have had a child and are living happilying in the srarrarsa condom. Ichogo is a got sex with Garra-desu. Johnny got lerned how to to make his legs move (Gyros fuckin dead mate cuz he got shoted by captn america). And Tony Hawk Became America's Next Top Model.

"Wake up Maro" Said a voice "wake up..." it said " listn yu fat fuck i will cut you" it was pissed.

"Lol hi." mario responded to the voice..

Mario look up and saw hovering above him a fairy. She had curly blue hair, yellow eyes, and tan skin. Mario is not evil so he decide to not fuck her because standerds yo also fuck righting good cuz i tried that once and bearly passed engrish.

"My name is Laura, I've come to deliver a message. You must save the princess!" Laura begged

"But I always save the princess. :" said Mario

"Its different this time." Laura said

"How is it different?" Mario asked

"It's Princess Zelda." Laura replied

"I'LL GO!" Mario yelled, interupting Luigi and Daisy and Peach to end thier sweat luv makin.


	2. Wristband, my man

"So where are we going?" asked Mario

"To one of the scariest places in America... GAMESTOP (or if you dont have gamestop just imagine that every instance of gamestop is instead E.B. Games)!1!" Laura repleid with fear in her voice.

"Da fuks a gamestop?" Mario asked because exposition i guess.

"An evil place. They sell things like blood of the innocent, porn, very used tissues, burt bacon... and they stole my panties." replied Laura

"Okay... and they kidnaped Zelda right?" mario asked

"Yeah sure. (Im gonna kill all those bastareds)." Laura's eyes sethed with rage

They continued on there way to the gamestop that was located in scenic where ever (hell it could even be by you) when suddenly Mario saw something. It was Paul Simon.

"OH YIS!" Mario creamed "PAUL SIMON"

Paul was entering the Gamestop that our heroes were on thier way too.

"He just entered the gamestop!" Laura restated

There was a man at the enterence of the Gamestop. As Mario and Laura walked up the the enterence the man stood in front of the door.

"Wristband, my man, you've got to have a wristband. If you don't have a wristband, you don't get through the door." The man said

"Wristband... what wristband?" Laura asked

"I cant explain it to you, you just have to have a wristband, and if you don't have a wristband, you don't get through the door." The man said

More people entered the Gamestop, all of them having wristbands. The two asked one of them about the wristbands.

"Sir, how did you get that wristband?" Laura asked

"Who me? I got through the deluxe edition of Super Mario Party." the man repleid

"Super Mario Party? Nintendo just doesn't keep me updated anymore." said Mario

"Wait, are you... oh mah gawd... HEY EVERYONE. ITS MARIO"

Suddenly, hundreds of peole surronded the two asking questions like "Why does Color Splash exist?" and "WHAT KIND OF SALAD DO YOU LIKE?!". Mario seeing this a way to get a wristband says that he will give an autograph to who ever gives him a wristband.

"TAKE IT, NOW SIGN MY ASS!" A large woman screamed.

Mario, being a man of his word, takes out his pen. The woman dropped her pants revealing a thong and everything else. Mario tried not to breath because raw sewage smelled better. Mario signed her ass, dropped the pen, took the wristband and the two ran into the Gamestop. Mario threw off his gloves as they were no longer usable on plumbing. Finnaly, they were so close. Stay tuned for scenes from the next exciting episode of Super Mario World: A Blast From De Past


	3. Dance, fucker, dance

"Evil... evil... really evil" Laura was angry

"Uhh I don't see anything evil." Mario said

"The sex dungeon... is evil" Laura said

Mario walked up to the counter where an employee was. The employee looked half asleep as he brought his starbucks coffee to his mouth. His eyes brightend as the bitter taste of coffee filled his mouth. As he pulled away the coffee, foam stayed behind on his upper lip. The man licked his lips and looked at the portly plumber in front of him.

"How may I help you, sir?" The man asked

"Evil... you all are bad people!" Laura yelled from behind Mario "My friend Mario will beat you up!"

"Don't mind the fairy. I was wondering if you all would know about a certain princess' whereabouts in this establishment. Now if you would be so kind as t-" Mario's sentence was cut short.

"I'm afraid that your princess is in another castle," The man then draws two pistols "and your game is over!"

"You didn't have to inter-" Two shots are fired at mario to which he dodges both very easily cuz faster than bollet. "-upt me."

Mario then raises his hand and shots out a very small fire ball that singes the employes shirt.

" You make Gaben…very nervous! You…I'm burnin' now! Hellfire is burning me alive!" The employee screams and runs into the backroom. A scream is heard lowering until a 'fwomp' sound is heard.

Mario and Laura enter the back and see that there are steps and at the bottom is the employee. The two go to the bottom and see a large door.

"To activate this door you need 120 wristbands." Mario says, reading the door.

"What?! but we'll never get that many right now!" Laura yelled in a paniced voice

"Oh really?" Mario said pulling out a pencil. Mario then erased the '20' from the door.

"You will open." Mario comanded

"Cheater." The door said. The door opened slowly. At first there was a bright light, then Mario could see it. POLYGON MAN. Polygon Man had captured Master Hand and Crazy Hand.

"Hello there. Would you like some tea? It's a brand you might not know, it's called DEATH!" Suddenly, Polygon Man spat out tea towardes Mario and Laura. Mario grabbed Laura and jumped out of the way of the tea.

"Don't like tea? How about a KNUCKLE SANDWHICH!" Master Hand lauched at Mario. Mario took out his hammer and whacked away Master Hand. Mario ran towards Polygon Man. Crazy Hand shot towards Mario, who jumped over him and slamed down with his hammer.

"I can feel that you know..." Polygon Man said furiosly.

Polygon Man launched himself at Mario, who jumped. Polygon Man shot up, catching mario with his spikes.

"ofuck." Mario said as it only did 12%. Mario landed on his feet and charged up his [Mario Finale].

"This will finish you!" Mario yelled at the top off his lungs. "Ryuu ga waga teki wo kurau"

From Mario's palms shoots out two gigantic flame orbs, devouring everything in its path. Polygon Man was unfortunatly in it's path.

"IMMPOSIBRU!" Was Polygon Man's last word.

"He's dead the evil has been defeated all thanks to you Mario." Laura congraduated

"Now where is Zelda?" Mario asked

"Uhh... I sort of lied to you so you would kill him so I could get my stuff he stole."

"..." Mario marioed

"There they are!" Laura said

Laura bent over, reaching into a chest, with her dress barely covering her butt. She pulled herself out of the chest.

Laura recieved 'Laura's panties'! Now this story is finished!

"Thank you Mario!" Laura than kissed Mario on the cheek and left. Mario then used his hearthstone and went home.

Mario fell asleep to the sweet sounds of Linkin Park and Greenday. Tears fell down his face as he fapped himself to sleep.

"Silent night, holy night. All is calm, all is bright. Round yon Virgin Moth-"

"Mario, please, I know you've had a hard day but please go the fuck to sleep."

"Good night Luigi, good night moon, and good night reader." Mario said

Good night all merry christmas or 4th of july or watevs. Its finally 12:37 P.M. at the time of finishing this g'day nite im go ing toi slep.


End file.
